Brown Skinned Brownie

I remember the cashier at the grocery store (after overhearing my mom speaking to me in Spanish) telling my mom that if she was going to live in America she was going to have to learn to speak English.

I posted the photo above on my Facebook page one year with the comment, “I was the only brown Brownie”. It was meant to be funny but the truth is it wasn’t always funny. I remember selling Girl Scout cookies door to door with my mom and an old man asking her how long she had been speaking English and when is she going to lose that lousy accent. My mom didn’t hesitate to answer him that she was a proud American citizen and she may have a lousy accent but she speaks two languages and asked him how many he speaks. After his response of one she told him that when he learns a second one he can come talk to her about her accent and finished off with, “Are you going to buy some cookies or not?”. He bought two boxes.

I remember sorting through my piggy bank money and my mom finding out I was going to throw all my pennies away because they were brown. You see, I had been walking to school and other kids were calling me ‘beaner’ because I was brown. My mom took me by the hand and told me my brown skin was beautiful, she then walked me to the living room and pointed out the picture window. On the driveway across the street laid a very fair skinned blonde woman slathered in oil. “See?”, she asked. “Women all over want to have your skin color, they pay to perm their hair to look like yours and they fry their bodies to have skin like yours”. She reminded me that I was beautiful but mostly because of my beautiful heart, and that I would always be beautiful because the inside comes out so strong.

I can go on and on with stories similar to these but the important thing is with the example and reactions of my mom I was able to grow into a confident woman who didn’t let those events continue to effect me in a negative way. Thanks to this, years later when I was walking in a strip mall with two daughters of my own and a woman sped dangerously erratic and close to us I threw a hand up to gesture “are you serious?”. She looked out the car window and said, “oh relax” and I replied that she should slow down and to that she said, “Why don’t you go back to the country you came from?”. The funny part came when she pulled into a spot, got out and walked into a tanning salon. Looks like she was in a big hurry to get a tan. Anyway, I was then able to laugh at the comment and remember my mom’s message.

When I became a mom myself and started all our little nightly routines one of my favorites was something we called the color sleep. Starting with Isabel, I would list off colors and the things that each might represent. Like, Pink is a satin ballet slipper as it spins on the stage. Pink is cotton candy, sticky, sweet and melting on your pink tongue. Pink is a squirmy, squealing piglet before he splashes into the cold mud. Brown is mommy’s morning cup of coffee waking me up. Brown is the fresh earth on our hands and in our nails when we plant pretty flowers in the garden. Brown is a strong, fast horse running down the field. Brown is a yummy chocolate bar, milky sweet for you and bitter dark for me. Brown is your beautiful skin, eyes and hair, curly or straightened out, from shades of caramel to cinnamon, you are beautiful inside and out.

I’m so happy that my kids and others have more representation out there now than when I was growing up. To them it’s normal to see more diverse faces in roles that had been cast or written another way in the past. Just recently when I showed Grace that our highly anticipated live action film, The Little Mermaid had begun casting and Halle Bailey had been cast as Ariel her response was, “Cool!” And her little sister, Lucia’s was, “She’s SO pretty!”. So when I read online that people were having major temper tantrums about it I felt bad for their narrow minded views and the little ones they may be shaping. When I see and hear the supposed President of this country talking about US congresswomen going back to their countries or amused by and encouraging rally chants of “send her back”.... I feel more than sorry.

I will keep telling my kids that they are beautiful. I have two with brown skin, two with much lighter skin and one in between and all will continue to hear that their beauty comes mostly from their kind and generous hearts, their brave, adventurous spirits, love of books and curiosity and so much more. They will always be exposed to diversity in real life and in the media we choose.